The True Meaning of Friendship: Am I Pretty??

It's not always the looks

It’s been one of those fitful nights in which sleep wouldn’t come for me.  So much is happening in my world right now, in a good way, but my mind is like chocolate marshmallow swirl!

A Facebook post is weighing on my mind, “Am I Pretty,” concerning prepubescent girls worrying so much about their looks that they feel compelled to solicit strangers and comments over the internet. The sad truth is, they were all very cute! Such a pity that they have such low self-esteem at such a young age and that their value systems seem all screwed up.

This topic relates to the true value of life and friendship, with looks put aside. In the past I wrote with enthusiasm about the prospect of meeting real people for the very first time after months and months of hard, intense and fun, work.  Not having the opportunity to meet through geographic distance, and not having any idea what a couple of these people look like, not that it matters, but that’s exactly the point.

When you have mutual goals, when you are thrown together for a purpose and it’s sink or swim tied to your efforts, you develop trust and appreciate other people, it matters not in the least what they look like.  In fact,when you laugh at your own flaws, theirs may become endearments.   You may know the person by e-mail, text, or phone, but you don’t get body language or their mannerisms which often give you valued information about the person.

I can think of three scenarios in which I have encountered this phenomenon, and so far, it has worked out great.  It’s pure, it’s real, and it’s not based on looks alone.

My cleaning lady from Poland is one such person. I’ve employed her once a month for over 12 years.  We met once in person, maybe twice at most, but that’s it.  I’ve given her Christmas bonuses and occasional little souvenirs from a trip. We’ve spoken on the phone, however, if I had to pick her out of a “Law & Order“ line-up, forget it!  The point is, it works and it has nothing to do with her looks and there are no judgments based on that criteria.

The second situation occurred when, in the course of my work, I may communicate with a colleague in another state or country as part of my job.  We discuss the weather, the work, maybe family or a mutual hobby, but, I don’t know what they look like. Corporations are vastly cutting back on travel in favor of webinars and conference calls versus in-person meetings. We have a phone friendship as it were.

The third scenario and the one that is so unusual in my mind is when I finally meet trusted mentors.  These are the people who are helping to mold my re-invention, a new career to put me on the map. I’m very open and all out there for others to see, regardless.

Looks aside, of course, it’s truly a shame all of those little girls online can’t appreciate relationships without looking at LOOKS!

Here’s (Not) Lookin’ at cha!

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