Senior Living - From “Ungracious Living To A Cruise Ship Environment

Last week was a time of extreme contrasts as I visited senior retirement properties in Charlotte, NC.

With my many years of working with seniors and about a half dozen living among seniors, I thought I had seen it all. I was both pleasantly surprised and aghast at some things I witnessed.  

That is the nature of the business when you see two extremes… with most properties falling somewhere in between the mix.

Some properties offer a continuum of care from independent living to assisted living to memory care, while others offer self contained assistance including Nursing, PT, OT, Speech Pathology services within the home, or outpatient services, depending upon insurance coverage  and/or private payment options. 

The Independent Living  properties are overseen by management companies, often with many properties located in another state.

All financial decisions, especially ‘big ticket requests’ - capital expenditures over a budget amount must be sent up the chain of command and approved at the corporate level. This can be a very bureaucratic and lengthy process.

The General Manager is the ‘Captain of the ship,’ keeping an ever present eye on sales, filling apartments and mainly covering costs while not exceeding the budget. It is a for profit business design to make money in an industry whose needs can outpace what is available. 

There tends to be a high turnover of staff in the South, particularly for service jobs, (wait staff, kitchen staff, cleaning people). Hoverever cooks, receptionists also may change depending upon their ability to secure good wages and or benefits. If the General Managers don’t measure up to the standards set by the management company, they can be there one day and literally gone tomorrow! This is disconcerting to residents and  puts greater pressure on the remaining staff.

Upon my recent visit to North Carolina, I was unable to stay in any hotel due to the inaccessibility of showers - unwillingness of the hotel industry and code enforcement to even acknowledge Universal Design and offer a third very useful option that I needed for safety This is a problem I have worked on for several months to no avail. 

After much research and assistance, we were able to find just two properties that supposedly had a safe, accessible shower where I could temporarily reside.

Sorry, Our Hearts and Minds are Closed

The “ungracious  living” was a property built in 2018. However, the decor, furnishing reminded me of the 1970s. The  management style was one in which a married couple oversees the operation and lives on campus rent free as part of their job benefits.

The couple appeared very hardworking. Certain staff had several duties including housekeeping and kitchen duties, 

The residents were not approachable for the most part.

 In fact, I got kicked out of three tables I tried to sit at. The residents were very territorial in terms of where they sat. “That’s my seat”; “This is our table” etc. 

 ***This is not supposed to be the case in Independent Living. 

You may sit wherever you like ( in theory). It’s about control and the lack of it with seniors who have little to count on at an advanced age.

 (I will post a blog in the future about this topic I wrote about previously.).

With the exception of a lovely 92 year old woman, and fellow author, many residents seemed to have a flat affect and did little conversing - did not respond when I greeted them with Good Morning. 

Most sat like statues…. Despite using my charm, little worked with these residents. However, a kind hearted ambassador with whom I ate, was undeterred, loved the place and told me “I’ll get used to it”. ( the rejection).

Although I knew it was typical, No, I did not want to ‘get used to it.

I tried three times with one person on my last day and finally got a response. This is sad indeed! 

The smaller of two guest rooms ( ~ 400 sq feet) has an odd shape - floor plan, hard to navigate  and  not clean. With furniture that looked like it came from a tag sale years ago and had a sticky finish.  

The shower had nowhere to place shampoo or soaps. However, it had a wooden shelf designed for photos outside the  top of the shower frame  on the wall - which was impossible to use!

The desk holding the TV had tiny drawers designed for trinkets and not clothes. 

When I made a couple of suggestions about a ceiling fan and that the seal on the sink was leaking,  a management comment was “Oh that’s mostly used for employees, so we don’t need that.”

The final straw turned out to be somewhat comical. 

The phone rang, I answered it. It was an employee reporting that he was stuck in traffic and would be late for work. (Whatt??).

I replied I was a guest and asked why she was notifying me? 

As it turns out, an office phone was placed in the room and not connected to the office downstairs. I reported the message to staff about the late employee, Ha! Ha! 

I had to return a couple of days later for a missed item. The manager had not even realized I checked out! What a fiasco!  With 70+ communities, clearly, ths management company is NOT paying attention to the guest experience!

We made a beeline to the second property thatwas elegance beyond compare! 

You Are So Welcomed!

Situated in the heart of downtown, this one year old building is the flagship for the company. The atmosphere and operations were very similar to a five star hotel. It seems that everything a senior could ask for was there.

High tech elevators, first class movie theater, indoor accessible pool, work out rooms, lots of activities, a bistro and a 5 star dining experience in the formal l dining room.Talking elevators equipped with small screens for viewing was a surprise. I experienced a lovely courtyard equipped with outside dining  and chatting near a fireplace as we  sipped our beverages was wonderful!

Model apartments were well appointed with about two dozen light switches and outlets, quartzite marble adorning the bathrooms, full service kitchens etc. A digital board noting the daily- weekly activities and events were ever present. 

However, the biggest contrast compared to any place I have visited or lived in, was the friendliness of all residents who approached me without hesitation! These were engaged, interesting people who truly enjoyed where they lived and felt a sense of community!

In fact, the Charlotte area has many educational and cultural opportunities! 

I was so impressed and can’t praise them enough! 

We shall see what the future holds.

Suffice it to say, as with most things in life, there is the worst of the worst , the best of the best…and the middle ground.

Thanks for reading and sharing! 

I would love your comments, especially if this information was helpful!

Donna