From Tragedy to Triumph: How Storytelling Heals and Honors Victims

Some basic facts serve as a backdrop to how storytelling can and does intersect with victim advocacy…

•  A person who is initially victimized suffering a devastating loss, is a true victim in every sense of the word. Over time and after certain milestones occur, they begin to feel like a survivor.

With still more time and ability to overcome. They can, in fact, become a thriver. 

•  Society says you are supposed to feel the loss for  “a period of time” that is comfortable for them, defined by their tolerance. However, reality tells those of us who are grieving, the time period and the path to healing is much longer and ‘bumpier;”   

•  It is indeed a rude awakening when we learn that when your loss is associated with a crime, priorities regarding media coverage 95% of the time, are largely for the storytelling of  perpetrator versus those victimized.  

• The vulnerability of loss covers every aspect of your life for which you are unprepared;

• We need to give permission to those who suffer grave losses and help them to recognize and celebrate survivorship.

(One way of celebrating survivorshiop, is the ability to tell your story!)

• In the early 1980’s and prior years, very little was offered to survivors of crime in terms of support groups.

HOW SURVIVORS, FAMILIES, AND ADVOCATES CAN FIND HEALING THROUGH WRITING, PUBLIC SPEAKING OR MEMORIALIZING VICTIMS- 

Story telling is the ultimate bridge over troubled water that we must practice navigating over and over in public, until we ultimately are comfortable with telling some version of the story that is true, and helps us maintain control, at least for the short term.

Support groups were our first and best chances at telling stories to heal when family, friends, and co-workers could not tolerate our grief for very long.

• The judicial system has been very slow to recognize and respond to the need for telling our stories. But finally it is a recognized, mandated right in all 50 states with approximately 29 states going further than basic rights, to amend their state constitutions.  

• Other forums such as assistance from a victim advocate or professional writer is an opportunity to tell our stories in the arenas  that matter most. 

• The myriad of victim conferences across the U.S. and internationally have evolved into a platform of empowerment and education for many families that might not have had the opportunity for storytelling and eventual healing.

• Social workers, and trauma counselors in the past have been ill prepared for helping victims of violent crime, as it is unlike any other personal experience one can imagine. They could not relate to it.

Therefore, many victims rightfully thought that these professionals could not assist. As time has gone by,  many strides have been made in the counseling fields.  This is the one to one, personal, gut wrenching storytelling, the ‘baptism by fire,’ in that if you can withstand this experience, you can withstand anything that comes after it. Tell it to one empathetic stranger and you can do more as you gain your strength. 

• Journaling is familiar way to try to heal from loss. It doesn’t matter what you write, or how you write what you are feeling. The most important aspect is that you are chronicling your feeling over time.   It is a good way to measure progress.

• There is that fine line when you need to extend a hand and be ever so patient with a survivor of traumatic loss as compared to using tough love. Are they ready to tell their story, or are they not ready? 

• In the past, I’ve provided a customized victim impact writing service.   It is the ultimate storytelling. A thoughtful, personalized victim impact statement can change the outcome of sentencing hearings and pardons and parole hearings, if given the opportunity to shine and ultimately heal.

• Victim impact statements should not be written from the same old template like sausages turned out in the sausage factory!  Every person is unique and should be valued as such. Everyone’s story deserves to be told.

***A key factor is knowing when and where and how to tell it.

That is where personal experience of nearly 45 years, is the key to assisting others. 

I can be the person to bring experience advocacy and effective storytelling together for you! 

"Storytelling is the essential human activity. The Harder the situation, the more essential it is.”

-Author, Tim O’Brien

While you are here… I invite you to check out other interesting blogs related to this topic-

1)https://donnagore.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/victim-survivor-thriver-a-world-of-difference/

2) Blog Summary and Podcast with Duane Bowers - LPC

https://donnagore.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/filing-it-away-or-stirring-it-up-long-term-grief-does-not-come-with-instructions/

***If you need assistance with this specialized storytelling, please contact me at- https://donnagore.com/contact

If I am the first person to whom you tell your story…. I would be so honored!

Donna