Donna R. Gore

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Senior living Advice from a Senior

You Can Take A Test Drive for a New Car… Why Not A Retirement Community?

I strongly recommend that if you are of sound mind and decision making ability, do your own research, with help if needed, rather than leaving the decisions only to your children. Your children may think they know what you like, but it often becomes about their needs versus your needs whether it be the geographic convenience factor, the all inclusiveness, or the worry free nature portrayed in the glossy brochures and the beautiful aesthetics. 

All of these factors are part of the package. However, unless you, the potential resident, invests in investigating what is most important to you, you may be stuck in an unhappy situation personally and financially.  Long distance moves are particularly harrowing as they frequently involve selling or renting a former home prior to moving, adjusting to the new rules and regulations of a new state, finding your way in a strange land as well as finding your personal niche.

I began my venture into retirement community living in March 2022  with a wide array of residents.. Sometimes it is a joy, other times it is a challenge. Luckily, I am a people person and have forged several new relationships in each of the communities. 

It takes time and excavation to really understand the workings of any new living environment. 


When a senior invests in a new place to live hundreds or thousands of miles away from familiar places solely upon the recommendation of a well intentioned son or daughter, it sets up a situation in which the senior does not want to disappoint the loved one. If complaints are voiced back to them, they are frequently brushed aside or not believed. 

When this occurs with new residents who give it the college try for several months and are still not happy, it is concerning. 

Open communication and not making major decisions without fully considering all of YOUR needs is so important. Take time to make a list of the aspects that are priorities for you and compose a list of specific questions before committing to a stay. 

You can contact a relocation company that will give you referrals of appropriate properties in the area, however, be aware that such companies may be paid a commission by the community if a person commits to residing there.  

I suggest a trial stay for a week as a guest as the best way to gauge if it is a good fit for you, particularly if you are moving long distance. Many properties will allow a short stay at a specified rate. The extra time and investment is worth it in order to make the most informed decision.  It will not give you all the information, which I believe can only be gleaned over time as an actual resident, however, at least it will give you a flavor of the community, residents, and staff.

When it concerns your golden years, and if you can afford options, stand your ground and don’t settle for the sake of your children. Your well-being is most important and you should make the best decision for you!

Never let it be said in the final years of your life,  you were a people pleaser and remained silent, but unhappy.