It Is Not the End When A Missing Person is Found; It’s Only One Chapter

 

“It’s been hard. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. It’s a struggle every day. But, we won’t stop until we have justice for him.”  

(George McLaurin Davis, Randy’s father)

 

When a person goes missing, events don’t occur in nice, neat stages. Just as Elisabeth Kubler Ross’s well-known five stages of grief, it is not a stair-step progression concerning the emotions of those who experience the loss of a missing person: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Loretta Davis, mother of Randy Davis has experienced all of these, before and after Randy went missing on January 21, 2016.  

Randy was described as a kindhearted man who would do anything for a person in need.  He was in a high school “Boot Camp” and earned his GED.  However, as often happens, young people don’t always make the best decisions concerning which friends to associate with, or who has their best interests at heart (besides their Mama). Along the way, he met Dakota Deal and had two children of his own named Bryson (now 6) and Addison (now 4).

But, the defining force that pulled him off the straight and narrow path of life was the introduction to drugs, escalating to the hardest substances from which it is nearly impossible to rid oneself.  It was a roller coaster ride of drug use, treatment, and relapse. As would be expected, Randy’s mother did everything possible to try to assist in keeping the demons at bay.  But no matter what was done, no matter how many resources or money one has at their disposal, sometimes the demons win no matter what, because of the cravings the motivation is so strong. Still, Randy always kept in contact with family.

On the positive side, we must stress that Randy had aspirations for a better life. He loved his children. He had a natural talent for art, particularly drawing. Randy wanted to go to art school. His family treasures many examples of his talents. Sadly, we can only speculate how his life might have unfolded, if given the right circumstances.

On May 10th, 2017 the Horry County Police, with the assistance of staff from the Cue Center for Missing Persons, located the remains of this  26-year-old young man, in a heavily wooded area on Horse Bay Road in Aynor, South Carolina.

The messages the Davis family wants to convey are many.  Loretta wants the world to know that her son’s life mattered, regardless of his struggles. The Davis’ are highly motivated to keep this young male’s case in the forefront such that it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. And, they want the masses to know that the journey is only half completed. As I write this, I think of the courage and inner strength of a mother who needed the finality of viewing photos of her son at the police station.  It was a task no one should ever have to face. On that day,  after the viewing, she rode her bike to relieve the stress and pain, if only for a  short time.  

Loretta is now thinking of a fitting way to honor Randy’s memory, to build a legacy.  Will it be planting a tree, doing presentations to young people in her local schools, an art exhibit, an annual fundraiser, a video combining his art and strong messages regarding the importance of positive peer relationships and the evils of substance abuse? They will find their path as a family.

Thoughts and Thank You from Members of the Davis Family

“It’s been very hard having my brother missing for over a year and four months. Knowing that we had to bury my brother at age 26, created a huge impact upon my life.” (Randy’s youngest  sister, Ashley, age 19.)

Randy’s Aunt Janice always felt in her heart from the day Randy disappeared, that he had gone to pursue another Rehabilitation Program in order to get his life on track. She believed this until the day his remains were found. It was her hope, her solace, her self-protection. The reality was devastating.

“We praise Monica Caison and the entire Cue Center team for all of their hard work and dedication on behalf of our son, Randy. We also appreciate them taking the time away from their lives to search for Randy. We love y’all.

To Lt. Peter Cestare and Detective Dudley of the Crime Scene Investigations Unit, Horry County Police Department- South Carolina:

“We want to thank them for their long hours and days of constant work on our case. The progress we have achieved to date would not have been possible if they didn’t believe in us. We are forever grateful. There are no words to say how much your efforts mean to us.”

When Loretta’s daily strength weakens, she can ride her bike, looking to the heavens and say a prayer for her son, Randy, gone too soon!

 For any Information Concerning the Randy Davis Case-

Contact the Horry County Police Department at (843) 915-5350 or the CUE Center for Missing Persons at (910) 232-1687; (910) 343-1131 or the 24 hour tip line (910) 232-1687.

Profile of Randy Davis case at CUE Center for Missing Persons: http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/index.php?s=randy+Davis

References- http://www.amhc.org/58-grief-bereavement-issues/article/8444-stage-of-grief-models-kubler-ross

http://wpde.com/news/local/mayor-john-rhodes-myrtle-beach-is-not-a-city-of-violence

http://www.wnem.com/story/35443539/coroner-confirms-remains-found-were-those-of-aynor-man-missing-since-2016


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A “Shero” of the Murderous Skies

 

“Heros don’t seek accolades or the spotlight with glitz and glamour; Rather, they perform their humanitarian works quietly, unselfishly without a moment’s hesitation.”….Ladyjustice

Betty Ong may not be remembered by name, but she will live in infamy for her acts of heroism beyond all measure. Betty was the first and primary communicator of the initial phases of the worst terrorist act  in modern history. Betty had aspirations to become a flight attendant as a child. However, she far surpassed any career goals with her humanitarian nature. Betty’s flight on fateful September 11, 2001 was Flight 11 originating from Boston, Massachusetts  bound for  Los Angeles, California. In her 14 year career, she achieved the level of “purser” is the chief flight attendant whose duties include supervising other staff, completing detailed reports ensuring compliance with all safety procedures and all passengers safe and comfortable.

Respect and hospitality by the host is the cornerstone of Chinese culture which appeared to serve Betty well. She was the youngest of a family of five children from San Francisco, California, born in February, 1956. She truly was a people person with a special fondness for seniors and children. Her sister wrote that she was  a tireless worker , always going the extra mile, driving into the city to have lunch with seniors and buying trinkets from her travels for children.

Her amazing  professionalism and courage her fire along with colleague Amy Sweeney during her 23 minute call to reservation agents  at the Raleigh-Durham airport was the beginning of events that provided key information and ultimately saved untolled additional lives!

Okay, my name is Betty Ong. I’m number 3 on Flight 11. And the cockpit is not answering their phone, and there’s somebody stabbed in business class, and there’s — we can’t breathe in business class. Somebody’s got mace or something.

She and Amy continued talking to different entities and related with calmness and  some of the crew had been murdered and hijackers had infiltrated the cockpit. She shared information on the men, including their seat numbers and what they looked like. Their acts provided the “window of opportunity by 20 minutes to  learn the names addresses and other vital information on three of the five hijackers prior to the crash into the North Tower.

With the personal terror put aside, Betty and Amy made the ultimate sacrifice for the safety of their passengers. Had they had time to think, to grieve, we can only image what they contemplated and shared in their final moments.

On February 5, 2017, Betty would have celebrated her 61st birthday.

unnamed

 

Tributes to Betty Ong-

2002 Recipient of the “Madeline Amy Sweeney Award for Civilian Bravery” (named for Betty’s co-worker, Amy) from the State of Massachusetts;  http://www.mass.gov/eopss/crime-prev-personal-sfty/masweeney-award-for-civilian-bravery.html

2011 The Betty Ong Chinese Recreation Center , serving the community for nearly 60 years in San Francisco and a facility in which she played as a child;  http://sfrecpark.org/destination/betty-ong-rec-center/;

Movies – Canadian Actress Jean Yoon depicts the role of Betty in the mini-series the Path to 9-11; and, according to Wikipedia sed a lengthy clip of Betty’s phone call without attribution and family permission to the 2012 movie, “Zero,Dark, Dirty,” apolitical action thriller which endorsed torture in the search for osama bin Laden. Her family subsequently requested a charitable donation from Warner Brothers in her name, give credit on-screen and reiterate that they do not endorse torture during the 85th Academy Awards;

The Betty Ann Ong Foundation, a 501c 3 non-profit,  http://www.bettyong.org/index.htm headed by her sister, Cathie Ong-Herrera  was created in ~ 2006 whose goal is dedicated to childhood obesity .Betty was a staunch believer that a positive attitude breeds self-confidence and self-esteem, which she acquired at an early age.  They endorse Camp Pocono Trails, one of the only weight loss camps accredited by the American  Camp association. http://www.newimagecamp.com/index.html

Finally, an ironic twist on a beautiful tribute to Betty gone horribly wrong! A September 12, 2007 San Francisco article described this tribute below –

Betty Ong is one of several Chinatown natives depicted in a 200-foot-long, 7-foot-tall mural dedicated to Chinese contributions to American history entitled Titled “Gold Mountain.” the mural also includes educators and nurses, Edsel Ford Fong, a waiter made famous by the late Chronicle columnist Herb Caen, and Larry Ching, the “Chinese Frank Sinatra,” who was a longtime entertainer at Forbidden City.

Painted by artist Ann Sherry in 1994 on the side of an apartment building on Romolo Place, the mural has been damaged by taggers numerous times. Each time, Sherry, the building’s owners and community volunteers have stepped up to perform touchups – and twice to restore the mural completely.”

As of 2004, Mural Artist who created this work of art stated,

“I’m done with them. That’s why the mural is painted over,” Sherry said. She said that during the 2004 restoration, which took almost a year, she worked on the mural six days a week for almost a year and was only compensated for transportation and lunch. “It was an absolute nightmare,” she said. “All they could pay me was coming out of their poor little pockets, so I accepted it because at the time I could afford to take a lot of time to do this. … So I basically just did the work, and they let it go to hell again. (It is now re-painted entirely in “institutional beige”)

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How very sad that Betty’s memory and others would be repeatedly defaced by criminals yet again! In my opinion, taggers who “perform their art” on pre-existing beauty, serve no good purpose and perpetuate disrespect and violence, qualities which were abhorrent to “our true shero”, Betty.

References- http://www.businessinsider.com/7-incredible-stories-of-heroism-on-911-2015-9?IR=T

http://www.bettyong.org/BettyOng.htm

https://www.thoughtco.com/how-to-use-huan-ying-2278603

https://www.911memorial.org/blog/remembering-911-hero-flight-attendant-betty-ong

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/S-F-mural-depicting-9-11-flight-attendant-2541526.php

http://sfcitizen.com/blog/2016/07/21/heres-all-whats-left-of-1994s-giant-gold-mountain-mural-at-romolo-place-in-north-beach-graffiti/http://sfcitizen.com/blog/2016/07/21/heres-all-whats-left-of-1994s-giant-gold-mountain-mural-at-romolo-place-in-north-beach-graffiti/


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Multiple Victimizations: Gender Bias, Missing Persons and Fake News

Yellow ribbons for missing persons

Yellow ribbons for missing persons

Back in the day, I thought seriously about a career in journalism, as the passion was stirred at a very early age. However, I now see that I have the best of both worlds in 2017, with other careers and still investing heavily in the written word. I am a better person for having chosen different paths, for when we examine the current journalistic landscape, at times, it is appalling!

I look for the always credible, the sure-footed people in this crazy world of news who can navigate the minefields and come out unscathed, and always ring true. The real question is where do we draw the line? Or, has the line moved so far afield it feels nonexistent? Exactly!

Do we spend our limited energy daily on separating hype from rumor from fact?  No, we often run it through our personal common sense filter and then do further research if it is of real interest. The rest is often just nonsense. However, we do live in an age where the unbelievable with respect to apparent disintegrating moral values makes virtually anything possible.

All that aside, we have to maintain a personal sense of right and wrong, even if it may have shifted a bit in terms of societal standards. Some look for others to blame; the desperate Democrats, the raucous Republicans, the intolerable President, the manipulative media.

I am of the belief it really doesn’t matter where the blame lies as they all feed into each other like sharks looking for their next meal.  Enter fake news. When did the biggies of journalism, politicians, the uninformed and sad individuals seeking attention become so desperate for the status quo that they felt it necessary to make up news in one-upmanship?

What is vital is the aftermath, the collateral damage done to persons who do not have a dog in the fight and are dragged in any way. Victims of violent crime whether it be a homicide, missing persons, rape, sexual assault, intimate partner violence, etc. are already compromised in terms of coping with their day-to-day existence due to grief, loss, intolerable pain and lack of will to withstand the fight.

The general public sees our society becoming ever violent and does not want to join the victimization club, ever! Those of us who have graduated from victimization and are squarely in the survivor camp can help others to maintain hope, and assist in educating and creating awareness for others.

Another strike against victims are the flagrant biases that the media and some law enforcement and judicial agencies perpetuate.  Children are rightfully seen as the most vulnerable and all important when it comes to crime. However, the unspoken message is that Caucasians still get first class treatment compared to any minority in any context.  Within such classifications, the public often makes value judgments concerning people, and particular lifestyles.

Assumptions are so ingrained that it’s difficult to garner attention to the fact that, for example, young men are not all irresponsible, macho, beer guzzling creatures who walk off into the night, abandoning all responsibilities and family ties. And yet, this is told to us by the police, by people who don’t really know.

As sure as our parents told us that only girls are supposed to play with dolls, this is true. This is the barometer that some people use. Boys to men fend for themselves, always.  They don’t go missing, get kidnapped or are forced to do things against their will because they are males. This is simply an untrue and unfair portrayal at a time when families need all of the credible resources they can gather just to keep their loved one in the forefront of media, competing with all the rest.

When this fallacy about how young males don’t go missing continues, to have fake news intruded upon them is unconscionable. Such was the case with the family of Damien Sharp recently.

A fake news organization article was recently posted on Facebook concerning his case with no direct contact information to law enforcement nor accurate information regarding its content. Imagine the horror when Damien’s family discovered this very hurtful, potentially damaging innuendo. Not only is this family approaching their 15th anniversary of Damien’s disappearance  (May 25, 2002) and potential homicide while operating within the reality of gender bias, they have to deal with a fake news posting as well. This truly is cruel and unusual punishment for a family who needs resolution and peace of mind.

The number of missing persons at any one time in the U.S. (2017) according to Silvia Pettem researcher and author, is 100,000.

We don’t need to venture far to illustrate this point further, for an estimate of the number of missing persons cases posted on the CUE Center for Missing Persons website. The number of young males below 30 or young male children initially posted having reached young adulthood over the years is significant.

We have to do everything in our power to give families with male members equal time in the realm of crime reporting and media attention. We have to resist gender bias and believe the information given by families and not rely on well-worn stereotypes that serve no purpose.  Toward that end, as a crime victim Advocate, I can try to do my part by featuring Damien’s case as one of gender bias in the media on my radio show.

Toward that end, as a crime victim advocate, I can try to do my part by featuring Damien’s case as one of gender bias in the media on my radio show. Stay tuned for this important podcast for Shattered Lives Radio in June!

 And …Stay away from fake news- Trust your head and your heart. LJ


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Seemingly Justified: Betty Broderick in 2017

Betty Broderick, Donna R. Gore, LadyJustice

What circumstance would possibly give one the right to take another’s life? Some would argue intimate partner family violence, or a self -defense killing. However, in the case of Betty Broderick, princess of San Diego high society, she felt put upon, disposed of for a younger model, and not appreciated for her former sacrifices which contributed to the success of her husband’s career and their posh lifestyle.

But does the humiliation add up to justified double murder in 1989, or in 2017? Certainly not! What a warped sense of reality and oh so important tyrannical, narcissist she was by every measure that counts.  You would think that over time, since November 1989, a woman in prison might gain a little perspective, but not Betty!

A second opportunity at the brass ring, a potential release was argued for an entire day on January 5, 2017, before two hearing officers.  However, when all was said and done, Deputy District Attorney Richard Sachs had this to say:

“Betty Broderick is an unrepentant woman, She has no remorse and zero insight into the killings,” She just basically said, ‘They drove me to do this.” No journalistic details were shared about her actual testimony. Suffice it to say that they must have been sufficiently unimpressed.

I wonder what it is about narcissists that they are so lacking in empathy and insight?  Personality Clinical Expert, Dr. Linda Martinez Lewi has this to say: “The narcissist is an incomplete human being. He/she lives as a false self that is grandiose, extremely self-entitled, deceptive and exploitive. Narcissists are deluded all of their lives and they cannot change.”

As regards insight: “Narcissists are incapable of introspection and lack insight. They live from an external perspective. Their image, the persona they project to the world, how much money they have accumulated, the power they wield over others—-these are their life priorities.”

The other necessary ingredient is to have a human connection outside of your physical mental spiritual one-person existence i.e. compassion. It is defined as: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” 

We need not search far for the myriad of examples of lack of compassion in this horrific tale, replete with the most outrageous forms of behavior-

  • Her constant need for attention and social standing;
  • Disposable wealth on luxury and frivolity;
  • Treating her children as pawns in a seeming unending “high stakes game of chess”
  • No concern for her children’s welfare and exposing them to the most intimate details of marriage, playing them off each other; chastising them for feelings of love of the imperfect father;
  • Unending harassment, stalking and violence, including crashing her car into the front of their former home … all to “prove a point”
  • Using murder as her excuse, and her only way out, essentially a prescription to kill; as her former husband “gave her no choice to shoot them”

Is it any wonder that her mental illness has remained intact when she has had all of these years to ponder, reflect and self-examine.  But, that is not in the makeup of such a person. A leopard cannot change his spots, nor can a zebra his stripes.

Betty’s daughter, Kim wrote a book entitled, “Betty Broderick, My Mom, The Kim Broderick Story.” The most consistent comment was that she told an unbiased, fair account of both parents. How could one of their offspring be objective, living in a shop of horrors?

If you care to check it out, via Goodreads-  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21798288-betty-broderick-my-mom

In January 2017, the parole board denied Betty’s future hearing dates for the maximum time limit – 15 years. She will be 84 years old. But wait, before you brand her as too feeble to continue her evil ways. All of the experts say narcissism begins in childhood, is a personality disorder and can never, ever be cured!

LA Times article with video included at this link:  http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-broderick-parole-20170105-story.html

References

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-broderick-parole-20170105-story.html

http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/tag/narcissists-lack-insight/


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To schedule Donna R. Gore for your next conference, seminar or event, please contact ImaginePublicity.Phone: 843-808-0859 or Email: contact@imaginepublicity.com