Homicide Isn’t “Uplifting”

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The title of this blog – such is the refrain of book store owners, Christian oriented businesses, coffee house venues etc.  What’s an author to do? They don’t get it!

Definition of Uplifting – “Morally or spiritually elevating; Inspiring happiness or hope”

People who are not impacted by crime cringe at the mere mention of murder. They may not watch the news as “It’s all bad.” “It makes me sad.” “I want to protect my children.”  Well, their “Candyland existence” does not work when pitted against the realities of life.

The key is balance – To expose ourselves and our children to the realities, to be proactive, but not be possessed or obsessed by the evils, to appreciate, to have empathy, to get involved with a cause that is related in order to change the world for the better!

Granted, it is very challenging for adults to make sense of the seeming random, senseless violence happening all around us.  How can we possibly explain to our children?  The act of murder, is not uplifting whatsoever. HOWEVER, the pathway to resolution and the positive byproducts in the aftermath can be very rewarding, enriching and give one’s life real purpose, and meaning that honors your loved one in a way you had never imagined! 

It does our children no favors to overexpose them to the chaos in our world. Nor does it prepare them for life in 2017 to “live in a bubble of your own unrealistic creation.”

Tips to bridge the Gap-

  • Know and appreciate resiliency- Point out examples to your children and try to model it in your own behavior and when you encounter difficult situations. Stress that life is not always happy, but that there is always a way to “find the sunshine on the other side” if you problem solve!
  • Use opportunities to make ourselves and our children aware within our community  “when bad things happen to good people” by participating in  fund raising events, vigils,  marathons, searches, rallies with a  hopeful, positive message;
  • Seize opportunities to meet others – even one person that has a different life experience as a result of crime and make a friend. Your local crime victim advocate may be able to pair you with a person who would best benefit from such a pairing.  Typically someone in the acute phases of grief may really needs someone to listen, not advice, (which can be intense). Alternately, if you meet them with much space and time between the crime and your meeting, you will gain much insight into how others cope…and still manage their life in spite of…It’s amazing what you will learn from such a relationship!
  • Instill hope in the aftermath of crime and tragedy, for that truly is God’s Grace at work;
  • Join a non-profit organization that needs volunteers in order to gain exposure and insight.  The positives far outweigh the crime itself when everyone is working toward a common goal.  Many talents and skills are needed – small and large, so don’t be shy!  You will receive far more than you give, guaranteed!   In addition, you often build lifelong relationships!  One fine example is the  repeated winner of Great Non-Profits.org- The Cue Center for Missing Persons- http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/about/
  • Reviews from Great Non-Profits –  Very Uplifting!  http://greatnonprofits.org/org/community-united-effort-cue

 

Other References –

https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Diaries-Surviving-Loss-Homicide/dp/1944328149

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/uplifting?s=t


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Donna R. Gore

To schedule Donna R. Gore for your next conference, seminar or event, please contact ImaginePublicity. Phone: 843-808-0859 or Email: contact@imaginepublicity.co

Single Professionals without Children; Why Are We Ignored? It’s a Crime!

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Please forgive me if I don’t “wax nostalgic” over New Year’s Eve. This holiday, as several others, leaves unattached singles at loose ends particularly at the stroke of midnight. What are we supposed to do?

New Year’s Eve is all glitter and flash which can be fun…. But, it is also most often associated with expending gobs of money and excessive use of alcoholic beverages. I like my wine occasionally, but have never ever been a “bar fly.” It’s okay in small doses, but I’d rather be somewhere else.

However, this is just one example in which single professionals “going it alone” are at a distinct advantage in our society.

We have made great strides in acknowledging single parenthood and even coupled parenthood without the benefit of marriage.  There are single adults by choice, and/or never having found the right person such as myself; There are those who are single by divorce or widow(er) status and don’t want to “try again.”  There are many in the LGBTQ community who may chose to habitually shop around versus commit to anyone.  There are disenfranchised people whose lifestyle choices and habits may always make them a single outcast. (You know who I mean…)  It’s the professional singles who are often “left out in the cold” whose interests are never considered.  Thank God we have evolved to the point of singledom not being “just a temporary holding pattern” until the white knight appears. Maybe we don’t need the white (or minority) knight! Maybe the white knight would be too high maintenance for some of us.

Consider the Facebook post I wrote on New Year’s Eve 2016-17 to reach out to others in the same boat as I.

SINGLES PROFESSIONALS UNITE! God needs to invent a holiday for single people. Truth be told, I’ve never cared for this holiday. We are forgotten by Hallmark, by families, by our legislators, by society as a whole. Occasionally, we are mentioned if we have “disposable income”, but that’s basically the extent of it.
It’s too bad, because we are a valuable resource, have a lot to offer the world and are just as important as the married people and parents. But, who ever realizes us as a group? So, to all the people in my group, you are important and don’t need to be defined by someone on your arm tonight! Upward and onward in 2017. Be who you are…even if you are single and like it that way!

In most cases, we are not considered in the family dynamic for what we can offer surrounded by the married ones; We are conveniently left out of coupled invitations, “the third wheel”. We are never considered by our elected legislators as needing fairer laws and public policies to help us meet financial burdens and future retirement.  We seldom have appropriate greeting cards for our busy lifestyles.

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With 51 percent of the America unmarried as of 2012, sociologist Eric Klinenberg wrote in his “Going Solo” book, that more than a quarter of us are living in a one person household and (irrespective of romance)  we’re not “getting a lot of love” regarding fair treatment.

For example, New York psychology professor, Dr. Bella DePaulo points out that we can start right from the top in government –

The U.S. government not only turns a blind eye to the problem of “singleism,” but helps enforce it, activists say. Just look at Social Security. “A childless singleton can work side by side with a childless married person, doing the same job, for the same number of years, at the same level of accomplishment—and when the married person dies, that worker can leave his or her Social Security benefits to a spouse,” says DePaulo. “The single person’s benefits go back into the system.”

UNRECOGNIZED AND UNCHALLENGED

Why does anyone have to be part of any kind of couple to get the same federal benefits and protections as anyone else?”

They don’t get the same kind of tax breaks. Co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them. “Singleism—stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against people who are single—is largely unrecognized and unchallenged.” Other arenas include insurance and health care –

businesswoman-147101_960_720People don’t notice singleism, and if their attention is called to it, they think there’s nothing wrong. That’s why, for instance, car and health insurance companies get away with charging less for couples and families. “They can attract more business [that way],” DePaulo notes. In the process, they leave single people to essentially subsidize the benefit by paying more. “When married workers can add spouses to a health-care plan at a discount and single workers can’t add someone important to them, that’s discrimination,” says DePaulo.

According to Seattle Law Professor Lily Kahng- Author of “One Is the Loneliest Number: The Single Taxpayer in a Joint Return World”, Hastings Law Journal,“Unmarried people also lose out when it comes to taxes.” Further – That married workers are able to transfer wealth and property to spouses—and others—tax-free, while the unmarried cannot; Ms. Kahng concludes that the joint return penalizes single people and should be abolished.

Married people had a supermajority of political power at the time the [current tax] rules were enacted, according to Ms. Kahng.

When we look at disposable income and quality time… by and large, single contribute more, says sociologist Eric Klinenberg –

On average, singles have more disposable income. They’re fueling urban economies that would be in much worse shape without them. compared to married people, they’re more likely to spend time with neighbors, to participate in public events, and to volunteer.

If you live in Europe – Marriage Historian Stephanie Coontz relates – “The penalties for being single in this country are worse than in Europe, where individuals have guaranteed access to health care, and they have options beyond a spouse’s death benefits for staying above the poverty line as they age.

And then there’s Outside the Office – Did you know?

Biased thinking persists, “For the single homeowner or property renter, discrimination is rampant, because the Federal Fair Housing Act does not prohibit marital-status discrimination,” Langburt notes. “Not only do landlords discriminate again singles; real-estate and mortgage brokers discriminate as well.”

According to these experts, the problem is scattered and isolated for formal tracking.  In fact, single women are the number one home buyers in the country, but there’s still a silent stigma that these women don’t have money to qualify or that they will be a flight risk.”

Being single – Not exactly a piece of cake… But I, for one, wouldn’t have it any other way!

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References and Literary Recommendations –

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/06/singled-out-are-america-s-unmarried-discriminated-against.html

Book – Singled Out- https://www.amazon.com/Singled-Out-Singles-Stereotyped-Stigmatized/dp/0312340826/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483305894&sr=1-1&keywords=single+out+depaulo

Book – Going Solo https://www.amazon.com/Going-Solo-Extraordinary-Surprising-Appeal/dp/0143122770

Donna R. Gore

 

To schedule Donna R. Gore for your next conference, seminar or event, please contact ImaginePublicity. Phone: 843-808-0859 or Email: contact@imaginepublicity.co

A Vicious Crime Blossoms into Victim Advocacy: The Story of Actress Theresa Saldana 

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Theresa Saldana

I had the luxury of a little extra time over the weekend and happened upon the “notable deaths” of the year. I perused person after person according to  the calendar date for 2016. Some people were unfamiliar. It made me sad, but in a strange kind of way, I was intrigued when I came to Theresa Saldana. We are very similar in age, and yet she was taken so quickly after surviving a horrible crime!

Theresa was best known to audiences as a New York Actress performing opposite Joe Pesci in the Movie “Raging Bull” and her long-standing TV role as the wife on “The Commish.”

Had Theresa not experienced a shoulder injury, she might have been a Broadway dancer. Rather, she began acting classes at 12. A talent scout sought her out   while performing in an Off Broadway musical called The New York City Street Show in 1977.Following that, she was cast in the 1978 film Nunzio. In 1980, she starred in the movie Defiance about a suspended young seaman (Jan-Michael Vincent) who takes up temporary housing in a neighborhood overrun by a gang while waiting for his next orders to ship out. She played a nice girl in this “revenge thriller movie” as contrasted to the sister-in-law of boxer Jack LaMotta (Robert De Niro).

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Theresa Saldana and Joe Pesci in a scene from “Raging Bull,” from 1980. Credit United Artists, via Photofest (NY Times)

Reportedly, these two movies served to form an obsession in the warped mind of stalker and would be murderer, Arthur Jackson. He stalked Ms. Saldana for 18 months unbeknownst to her. He was described as  a drifter from Scotland who, it is rumored saved up his welfare money to come to the U.S. Jackson supposedly entered the United States illegally and tracked her down with the help of a private detective! (How did a drifter afford to hire a PI? I guess sob stories work wonders for criminals!)

In his diary, Jackson’s delusional writing said he intended to win Ms. Saldana by “sending her that he regretted using a knife on her because “a gun would have given me a better chance of reunion with you in heaven.”

With shades of the Kitty Genovese murder looming, I was horrified to learn that just one person, a passing delivery man heard he screams after she was stabbed 10 times outside her West Hollywood apartment on March 15, 1982.  It was described as such in the Inquisitor – (Had it not been for)”deliveryman Jeff Fenn, she may well have died from her injuries. As it was, her situation was precarious; Jackson had stabbed Theresa Saldana so ferociously that the blade bent. By the time Fenn wrestled the knife away from Jackson and Theresa Saldana had gotten to the hospital, thanks to some paramedics who quickly arrived on scene, a great deal of the blood had drained from her body and her heart had stopped.”

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She spent the next three and a half months hospitalized,  recovering from her near fatal wounds.

In her victim impact statement of 1984, she related to the judge: “I will never forget the searing, ghastly pain, the grotesque and devastating experience of this person nearly butchering me to death, or the bone-chilling sight of my own blood splattered everywhere.

The perpetrator served 15 years in prion in the U.S. and then was extradited to Great Britain for trial involving a 1966 robbery and homicide.  (Just unbelievable that he was not captured for these crimes sooner!) According to the New York Times article, he was sent to a psychiatric hospital, where he died in 2004.

After her recovery, Theresa  founded the Victims for Victims organization that fought for anti-stalking laws then played herself in the 1984 TV movie “Victims for Victims: The Teresa Saldana Story.”

How disconcerting it must have been to play yourself in this movie… Perhaps it was part of her healing process. I so respect her for trying to use her craft to educate others.  The movie was not widely reviewed – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088349/

She continued her acting career appearing in several dramatic and comedies into the 1990s. Theresa retired from acting 12 years ago but was a tireless victims’ advocate up until her death on June 6, 2016 at age 61. She was well aware of the importance of advocacy for victims of crime.

Sources reported that she was influential in the passage of two pieces of legislation -two pieces of legislation — 1990’s anti-stalking law and 1994’s Driver’s Privacy Protection Act- part of the Title XXX Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act – a federal statute governing the privacy and disclosure of personal information gathered by state Departments of Motor Vehicles.

 Sad, Angry, Interesting PostScript:

The cause of Theresa Saldana’s death was revealed as pneumonia. I am speculating that all of her chest wounds left irreparable damage and that she may have been very prone to infections after her attack. Yet another impact of a crazed killer – compromising a person’s immune system such that they can’t fight infection… but she fought in other important ways.

Finally, one source I read reported that this violent scenario inspired a copy cat  killer and was used as a “blueprint “ to  stalk and murder  My Sister Sam  sitcom star Rebecca Schaeffer in 1989.

 

 

References – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theresa_Saldana

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/09/arts/television/theresa-saldana-actress-and-attack-survivor-dies-at-61.html?_r=0

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/06/08/481234857/actress-victims-advocate-theresa-saldana-dead-at-61

http://variety.com/2016/film/news/theresa-saldana-dead-dies-raging-bull-the-commish-1201790703/

http://www.inquisitr.com/3179645/theresa-saldana-best-known-for-the-commish-victims-advocacy-dies-at-61/

Taking a Wrong Turn Too Many Times-The Tragic Death of an Appalachian Hiker Gone Missing

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The story of 66-year-old Geraldine Largay’s adventures on the Appalachian Trail and what led up to her tragic death is unusual. There were many accounts giving information which would seem to contradict her behavior…and so many missed opportunities. It didn’t have to end in death …and it was never meant to end in death! A lover of the outdoors and seeking adventures past a dedicated career should reflect new chapters of enlightenment and excitement…not disaster.

Geraldine began her training to navigate the wilds of the Appalachian Trail with a trainer who had the reputation to be unorthodox in his methods, according to an article by the Portland (Maine) Press Herald. Her mission was to cover 14 states, encompassing roughly 2,175 miles.   She nicknamed herself “inchworm” as her trail name. She and friend Jane Lee began on April 23, 2013, trekking ~1,000 miles from Harper’s Ferry Virginia. As of June 30th the women were in New Hampshire whereupon, Jane left to lend to a family emergency.  This was the beginning of flirting with a disaster which would create a domino effect of trouble ahead. Geraldine was insistent that she continue on alone. Actually, the system in place was to have her husband of 42 years act as a kind of “wagon train” meeting her at pre-determined spots, bringing her supplies and driving her to motels for showers etc.

Geraldine’s body was found less than two miles from the trail 26 months later by surveyors on October 14, 2015, in Maine.

I really tried to find an equal balance of positive and negative factors to relate, thinking that this was just a fluke that this woman went missing, seemingly forever and then died. But, no, the negative far outweighed the positive in this tale.

Gerry was a retired nurse whose medical skills would supposedly serve her well for such an ambitious trip. She was a friendly person on the trail, not “keeping to herself.” She had the physical stamina to carry a full pack, hiking 16 miles a day.  She also kept a journal after she got lost that provided insight into her journey (as well as over 1,500 pages from the Maine Warden Service and the Medical Examiner.)

WHY?

unknownHuman error, poor judgement, the harshness of the terrain,  over-reliance of certain equipment and not using other techniques, lack of survival skills taught by her instructor, (no curriculum to speak of) and  a medical condition and her family’s lack of knowledge of just how unprepared Gerry was, all contributed to this “perfect storm.”

In summary some of the factors that worked to create this tragedy were:

  • She was afraid of being alone, but yet she insisted on “going it alone “when her friend had to leave;
  • She suffered from anxiety and may not have been taking a prescribed medication for her condition making her vulnerable to panic attacks;
  • Her hiker friend told investigators Gerry had a poor sense of direction and became flustered and combative when she made mistakes such as making a wrong turn;
  • She had a SPOT beacon, (a GPS device that sends emergency messages to a satellite when it is activated.) BUT, she left it in the lean-to before she left for her final hike;
  • She over-relied on a cell phone to communicate….

Gerry left the marked trail to go to the bathroom and lost her way. According to experienced hiker David Miller quoted in the National Post, he stated that as part of the maintenance of trails, the Conservancy re-routes paths yearly after floods or restoration projects. New paths are cut and they attempt to block the old paths, but the “blazing” – looking like paint on trees, is not adequately removed and mistake the old route for the new routes,

Largay did not follow her instructor’s informal advice to go “Downhill and downstream.” This instructor also recommended that if lost, you should stay put and do nothing.  Maine investigators have disagreed.  Instead, Gerry tried to go to higher ground hoping for a signal for her cell phone.

Gerry died in the summer within a sleeping bag in a closed tent, which ultimately made it difficult for search dogs to detect a scent through the air.

The Warden Service was able to conduct three dog searches only due to the lack of volunteers able to navigate the harsh terrain that had been used by the military in the past.

The medical examiner’s report stated that her last campsite was a mixture of hardwood and evergreen with a tree canopy covering  75% of the campsite from above (with a black tent) which made visibility from the air and the immediate surroundings very challenging. She waved her shirt to a passing plane and helicopter, but she could not be seen.

Her path to the end – Several accounts report that she was last seen on alive on July 22, 2013, on Polar Ridge lean-to. As there have been torrential rains afterward, speculation was that she had trouble crossing the Carrabassett River or “got turned around on the trail.” Evidence from the Computer Crime Lab indicated she had gotten to an abandoned railroad bed crossing and the Orbeton Stream.   She missed her scheduled stop to meeting her husband for supplies in Wyman Township. She continued north but reported left the trail to go to the bathroom and got lost.  This area was very dense with fir trees, rugged with thick underbrush.

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In fact, Gerry was found less than two miles off the trail and waited a full month for rescue before dying officially from Inanition (exhaustion and lack of food and water).Some of her remains were intact within the sleeping bag, while animals scavenged and dragged her a few feet away.

Before the month passed, Gerry appeared resigned to death, with her journal messages, following her failed text messages to her husband. The cover of the Journal said, “George, Please Read X0X0”

At 11 a.m. on her final day of hiking, her unanswered text said, “In some trouble. Got off the trail to go to br. Now lost. Call the Appalachian Mountain Club to c if a trail maintainer can help me. Somewhere north of the wood road. X0X.” She prayed the Rosary too!

On August 6th she wrote, “When you find my body, please call my husband George and my daughter Kerry. It will be the greatest kindness for them to know that I am dead and where you find me.  No matter how many years from now. Please find it in your heart to mail the contents of this bag to one of them.”  She also wrote a long letter to each of her family members, apologizing, saying that, “No hike was more important than them.”

Parting thoughts:

I have many questions about why  Gerry was so ill prepared and why her family agreed to this vagabond system of travel agreed to, for a woman with an anxiety disorder without medication, without sufficient survival training and someone who did not like to be alone.   We’ll never know why so many common sense factors went by the wayside for Gerry! It is sad and senseless. Perhaps she was a loveable but “stubborn ol’ broad” who didn’t like to listen to others.

P.S. Gerry was less than 200 miles from completing her goal of 900+ miles –half of the trail that she began in West Virginia months before.

References: 

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/01/29/maine-hiker-missing-2-years-died-in-sleeping-bag-inside-tent/

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/27/us/missing-hiker-geraldine-largay-appalachian-trail-maine.html

https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2016/08/24/when-you-find-body-the-last-days-hiker-gerry-largay/DcaZf6RcojOTN2LNsOXm0K/story.html

http://www.pressherald.com/2016/09/17/at-instructor-ill-fated-hiker-disregarded-common-sense/

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/former-instructor-says-trip-was-perfect-storm-for-missing-hiker-found-dead-in-appalachian-wilderness