We know the dangers of women dating psychopaths due to the diligent work of homicide survivor, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. They are not, for the most part, living in the shadows, they are living in plain sight. The low conscience spectrum where there is little to no conscience directing our moral behavior, no filter, no boundaries, and depending upon the personality disorder to full-blown psychopathy.
A good introduction to psychopathy is this YouTube interview between Sandra Brown and Michael Cross https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gevnRyRASDc discussing her ground breaking book, “Women Who Love Psychopaths.” In fact, Sandra feels, based on her years of experience and research , there is a gender bias regarding underdiagnosing women psychopaths.
Females are manipulative and emotionally volatile, often using sex to manipulate. Psychopaths, in general, separate themselves from their behavior. They possess no insight. They see opportunity everywhere as they have no barriers such as moral conscience to get in the way. They have honed their responses over time to mimic emotional responses. How do they compensate or can they do so at all due to the insufficient wiring of their brains?
Criminologist and author, Dr. Scott Bonn, tells us in his Psychology Today article, How to Tell a Sociopath from a Psychopath, that psychopaths lack empathy, cannot form or feel real emotional attachments. These people often blend in well as they have good jobs and are well-educated. They are long-range planners, and form Plan B and C, just in case. They are organized and don’t leave a trail of clues. Con artists are examples. Serial killers, at the end of the spectrum of antisocial personality disorders, are totally lacking in remorse and most dangerous of all. . Victims of such serial kills are viewed as inanimate objects.
Sociopaths, on the other hand, are very disorganized, anxious and prone to agitation and rage. They are the underclass who never gets particular notice in society. Dr. Bonn tells us that they may be able to form singular attachments, but have a disregard for society and the rules that bind us in general.
The Commonalities –Psychopaths and Sociopaths do have some traits in common. They each display violent behavior, have total disregard for the rights of others, ignore laws and social mores and do not feel any guilt or remorse. Therefore, based on these traits it is easy to be confused!
1987’s Fatal Attraction and the character, Alex Forrest, book editor
For those of you who have not seen Fatal Attraction, it was almost never made, but its message was heard far and wide in many circles. After its release, men stopped cheating for a time, or were never so careful about their cheating. It introduced the public to psychopathy within the backdrop of normal family life. It demonstrated how things could get out of control without trying and the real potential, more than hinting, that there truly are female psychopaths in this world!
The film is based on a chance encounter and liaison with Alex Forrest, a woman who is intelligent, charming, manipulative and knows how to play the game to get her prey. She sees her opportunity and sets her sights on a seemingly average married guy who she can destroy for the pleasure of sex, and most of all, for the thrill of the chase.
A roller coaster ride ensues with Alex immediately taking control, setting the parameters, becoming more demanding of his time. When he balks and can’t believe, Alex can’t appreciate the fling for fling’s sake, she uses what only a woman has in her arsenal, feigned pregnancy. When intrusive phones calls, lies and other invasions don’t work, her behavior escalates. Among a plethora of evil deeds she visits his workplace, attempts suicide, throws acid on his car, makes friends and abducts his daughter, just to name a few. And, through it all, she has a twisted rationalization and blames him for all of her behaviors!
Series of Movie Clips:
Psychopathic Language Samples:
- “Face up to your responsibilities,” “I won’t be ignored.”
- You’re not going to leave me.”
- “You’re my last chance; I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t live without you; I’ll cut deeper next time.”
Attempted Suicide. Blackmail, Kidnapping Daughter, Attempted Murder of his Wife: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQw2w2KUNIA
Invading Family Territory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAsBghop-hw
Lies, Lies, Lies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg3w_8_fwIc
Destroying What his Child Loves Most – A New Live Bunny: (Warning Graphic) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecWhXP2jM28
Bathroom Scene Where Everyone Fights for their Lives from the Psychopathic Killer, Alex: (Warning- Graphic) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd521kE7f0A
WARNING! The End is Graphic!
Alternate Ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY_NQK7rJrY
I don’t pretend to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. But, I have lived an unusual life of many circumstances which could be called tragic and have worked professionally in many arenas with people from every walk of life. I am an insightful observer of humanity. It doesn’t take a PhD to know that people with the character of Alex Forrest are out there.
Be wary of people like her. Trust your immediate instincts at the first sign of trouble. I would then seek safety first and get professional help should you not be able to walk away under your own power. And, do read the writings of Sandra L. Brown and Dr. Scott Brown. They have so much to offer.
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