When an ordinary person such as myself, through nonstop hard work, rises through the ranks to become a minor public figure based upon my personal tragedy, it gives one pause. Why? First of all, no crime victim or homicide survivor ever signed up for this occurrence. We are unprepared for how we might function on a daily basis. We certainly were not prepared for the long view of life and what twists, turns, hardships and even joys, yes, future joys there would be.
As a passionate person with passionate causes, I am blessed to have a myriad of outlets from which I can deliver my messages. Way back when I was a mere tadpole on the lily pad in Connecticut going from person to person the proverbial skies opened up with opportunities afforded by the likes new people who entered my life, and it has never been the same. From a national advocate, author and radio host, to learning social media and marketing myself from a professional, I was given the step up.
My vessels of expression now include:
- Prolific writer through this site
- Working on a myriad of advocacy projects
- CT State Coordinator for the CUE Center for Missing Persons
- Fee for service Victim Impact Statement Assistance Service,
- Creating and maintaining a high quality national radio show, Shattered Lives
- Being part of an anthology book series, Grief Diaries, which will establish me as a published author
However, with this presence comes responsibility. When you achieve a certain degree of success, however you personally define it, one hopes that people respect you for the journey that has been travelled, for your accomplishments, resiliency, intellect, talents and compassion for others. Regardless of these traits, you travel down the path of least resistance addressing the topics you know best, which in my case happens to be homicide, up close and personal.
Based upon years of experience, meeting others in the same boat, trial and error, and a lot of injustice along the way, I’ve become the authority and serve up various and sundry murder pieces on my blog. Maybe it’s a reflection of today’s society, but it seems that the public has a veracious appetite for violent crime!
This steady diet thing is akin to being typecast in one role as a famous actor/actress who can never quite shake that persona, past TV show or movie in order to spread their wings and show a diversity of talents. Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Sylvester Stallone, Jean Stapleton, are just to name a few.
If I step back and look at it as my alter ego, “Ladyjustice,” I often wonder where my allegiance lies. Do I give my audience a steady diet of what I perceive that they want, violent crime, just for the sake of gaining readers? No, I think it should be known that I’m multi-dimensional with many interests beyond homicide. I do advocacy work through my employment with persons with disabilities daily. I have more medical experience than most MD’s due to my own health issues and a medical clinical career as a speech-language pathologist for well over 20 years. I have other creative interests and hobbies when I make time to pursue them.
Another dilemma is what many crime victims hear from the outside world that dreaded refrain from those who don’t really understand (and sometimes even in our own immediate families). “It’s been X amount of time, isn’t it time to move on now?” This phrase cuts like a knife to some of us who’ve experienced the injustice of being a victim of crime. But, to be perfectly honest, many of us have found a niche. We, in fact, don’t ever think of moving on, as the frame of reference is always moving up to bigger and better things that fulfill our passions at the time.
Parting words to my audiences – go with the flow; you just might enjoy the ride if homicide is not always the main entrée!