There are crosses to bear and then THERE ARE CROSSES TO BEAR! One never knows how life will turn out as a parent. You have hopes and dreams for your children; you seemingly do all the right things to raise your children to put them on a good path. Your children go on their way; they pursue their interests, marry and carry on happily. However, when children realize that they have made a bad decision that cannot be rectified, they often try to keep it together, to “paint a rosy picture,” for their parents and the world, to save face, not to disappoint those who sacrificed for them. Friends often do not share the secrets. There are red flags – control, isolation, belittling, abuse, and the ultimate- the act of murder. This is an all too common and heartbreaking real life drama for which no one is ever prepared!
Such is the situation for thousands of families….
However, among them, one particular family is making a difference for others after the loss of their beloved daughter Liza to intimate partner homicide. Doug Warner of Charleston, South Carolina, Founder of Liza’s Lifeline http://lizaslifelinesc.org/what-we-do/ is such a man, a father who grieves. Through his loss, he and his family carry on by paying it forward to the next victim in order to pave the way for a real opportunity for safety, an opportunity Liza didn’t have when it counted most.
- Public Service Announcement –Intimate Partner Violence by Amy Robinson
- Introduction to our guest
- The beginning of the story… Thanksgiving 2003, “A mother knows….”
- Albany New York and setting her sights on New York City- a blossoming career
- An unwilling husband “With issues”
- Smothering, a rape and telling police, “No, I can handle this”
- Delilah’s commentary on the epidemic of IPV, the red flags and the benefits of using the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit; and an issue that is passed from generation to generation. “The circumstances very rarely change, but the way we react, that’s where we have to come together and make the changes… “
- Promises not to tell Dad…and seeking temporary refuge
- Wednesday to Friday– in restraints, checking out of a mental health facility and then murder
- “I had a feeling…” There should be a law that children should always outlive their parents”
- Russell – a trail of misdeeds and violence in his past
- In hindsight-The importance of background checks
- That poor family … and then we became “that poor family”
- A talented woman with literally a thousand clients as a beautician
- A history of Liza’s Lifeline – How people can work together to accomplish a great organization
- A lesson- How organizations can coalesce versus competing against each other
- Fantastic organizations working well together
- Getting a person out of harm’s way QUICKLY…Whatever it takes
- Delilah on “filling out the paperwork and then getting sent out on the street”
- South Carolina is still the number one state in the nation for homicide against women…and it continues
- Tri County Victims Council – Their job doesn’t end at 5 pm…It’s 24/7
- A stark contrast- there’s nothing in certain counties versus the Medical University of South Carolina
- Helping people and pointing them in the right direction makes the difference… An inspirational story to illustrate the point
- Other good works associated with Liza’s Lifeline…
- Pet Helpers… What’s it all about?
- My Sister’s House and their pet program: http://mysistershouse.org/about-us/
- Discussion of major fundraisers via Zonta International http://www.zontaofcharleston.com/zonta-international/
- Golf, golf, golf -It’s NOT easy to coordinate a tournament
- What does the future look like for Liza’s Lifeline?
- Doug discusses his feelings re lack of a court trial- “He took care of it himself…”
- Delilah commends Doug and his work… “So often a survivor pulls it all together to pay it forward to help the next person”
- Ladyjustice comments on the first anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre…
- Ladyjustice asks for Doug’s advice regarding spotting the red flags
- Doug’s parting story- My grandfather beat my grandmother, my Mom beat my Dad…and it stops with me” – EDUCATION IS NEEDED
- Another PSA by Amy Robinson
PO Box 80546
Charleston, SC 29416
Questions, Questions, Questions
- What was the timeline of this crime?
- Has the incidence and circumstances of domestic violence changed over the years?
- What was the mindset and behaviors of Liza’s husband Russell months prior to and leading up to her murder?
- What was the measure of respect and love for Liza that became so clear at her funeral?
- What were the reasons for the change in their relationship?
- What profession assisted Doug to begin Liza’s Lifeline in an expedient manner?
- What makes Liza’s Lifeline unlike from other DV organizations?
- Why can’t other organizations do what Doug’s organization
- What services do Survivors of Homicide offer in South Carolina?
- What is the significance of pets with domestic violence?
- Who is Jane Polk?
- What is involved with their GALA in January?
- What red flags do we all need to be aware of?
- What are the “startling statistics” regarding domestic violence/IPV?
“Red and Rosy Versus Red Flags”-
The Story of Intimate Partner Violence Behind Closed Doors
- Shattered Lives: Intimate Partner Homicide and Liza’s Lifeline (imaginepublicity.com)
- Study: Domestic Violence Stays In Families Through Generations (houston.cbslocal.com)
- Domestic violence offenders can no longer deposit guns with friends, family (journaltimes.com)
- Teens tackle domestic violence (journaltimes.com)
- The Multi-Faceted Aspects of Murder- A Tutorial of “Murder 101” (donnagore.com)
- Sixty-Eight Reasons and More… The Legacy of the National Organization for Victim Assistance (donnagore.com)