“Every survivor has the right to chose and the right to determine the correct path of healing that is right for them.” Christopher Anderson
During this life on earth which seems so fleeting, so fast paced, so consumed with the material versus humanity, it is a divine gift when we find commonalities, when we can intersect, pause, reflect and reach out to help others….
Who would have known that a man who carries a heavy burden would have shared truths with another dear friend and colleague? Christopher Anderson, survivor of sexual assault and Executive Director of Male Survivor.org, http://www.malesurvivor.org/history.html and Amy Susan Crohn http://www.dyingtoliveamy.com/ share a blueprint of sorts. They share a high score on the ACES- Adverse Childhood Experiences Scale (for those coming from families of significant dysfunction and trauma) http://www.cdc.gov/ace/prevalence.htm;
And further… who would have predicted that abuse is so common that whatever form it takes…we all can relate to it in one way or another? At the start of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, there is no better way to increase awareness and pay tribute to intimate partner violence…AND all forms of sexual abuse, than with the introduction of selected new compelling downloadable public service announcements in between our conversation with Christopher Anderson. Such PSA’s were interspersed and introduced to our audience during this radio show! http://imaginepublicity.com/2013/10/04/voice-actress-amy-robinson-creates-domestic-violence-psas/
BUT… returning to our theme of healing and justice…. Christopher Anderson took the “Shattered Lives” Radio Team on his personal journey, capturing the essence of what is most important to male survivors of sexual assault and much more… Is it justice? Is it healing? Please listen to the podcast and read further to unlock the answers…
- Introduction to the Domestic Violence PSAs by Amy Robinson, Voiceover Actress and Homicide Survivor
- Introduction to our guest, Christopher Anderson
- Chris introduces his personal story as a means of healing…and “a little bit of the shame breaks away”
- Parental tantrums, hoarding, emotional neglect, lack of nurturing and “not necessarily overt abuse”
- “High alert for negative experience” overtaking any positive…
- A neighbor and son befriending Chris… the beginning of a “false sense of goodness” and a path to darkness….
- Hulk Hogan and WrestleMania…. Wrestling in his underwear, photos and the father “taking over”
- Disassociation, periods of not remembering from 8 to 12 years old…
- “Strange happenings”… his house became a stash for porn etc….
- The high school years…getting through, getting by…anxiety and depression
- Ladyjustice asks if Chris also suffers from physical, chronic conditions as a consequence of his neglect and abuse?
- “The sexual abuse didn’t seem like it was a big deal” in the scheme of the other issues… until age 30.
- First Marriage…Chris discusses what occurred…
- Ladyjustice asks what is typical in intimate relationships after sexual assault?
- Feeling broken and flawed…
- Delilah asks about repressed memories and how it affects people in adulthood?
- “Every survivor has the right to chose and the right to determine the correct path of healing that is right for them.” No “one size fits all” for treatment
- BREAK- Domestic Violence PSA- Call1-800 799-SAFE
- Delilah’s commentary re “let your voice be heard” regarding Christopher’s work due to men and boys having to live in silence for so long…And it is so difficult to talk about.
- Delilah asks, how important is justice to male survivors?
- Chris responds regarding the difference between the pursuit of justice and healing…
- Legal realities…. Statutes of Limitations … Marcy Hamilton’s work : http://sol-reform.com/News/what-is-a-sol/
- Look and listen to survivors- you hear over and over again … a re-traumatization and re-victimization
- For every survivor of trauma and abuse the pursuit of justice can be a source of healing, but not a prerequisite
- Ladyjustice asks about underreporting and the prevalence of male sexual abuse?
- A discussion of female perpetrators and the myth of homosexuality perpetrators
- Myths and Facts: http://www.malesurvivor.org/myths.html
- Resources: Books Recommended: Dr Howard Fradkin and Christopher Anderson Co-Author: “Joining Forces…” http://howardfradkin.com/wphf/?page_id=13; http://www.amazon.com/Joining-Forces-Empowering-Survivors-Thrive/dp/1401941346;
- Oprah Show: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Male-Sexual-Abuse-Survivors-Stand-Together http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKjiiAUSCJE
- “Boys And Men Healing” used during “Dare to Dream” Events: http://www.bigvoicepictures.com/boys-and-men-healing/ Now with Spanish subtitles and English subtitles and for the Deaf and Hearing Impaired Woo Hoo!
- Chris tells how he connected with MaleSurvivor.org and discusses the multiple purposes: More Resources and Connections for Therapeutic Resources, Peer Support Groups.
- Discussion of their International Conference in NYC in 2014
- Weekends of Recovery Program: What are they about?
- The experience of trauma is universal…. and the importance of accessing resources…
- Chris’s discussion re the media…and the increase in awareness of sexual trauma in the military
- “The Jerry Sandusky Effect”- Are there positives?
- Parental-Societal Message: Learn how to do a better job with prevention- Be holistic, non-biased and inclusive in providing support to EVERY survivor. There is no hierarchy of abuse!
- Delilah asks, how prevalent is abuse between siblings and is it more difficult for healing to occur?
- Ladyjustice asks about prevalence and geographic considerations internationally?
- Socio-economic poverty, and hopelessness considerations
- What is Chris message of hope for the future?
- Healing is possible: Elements of Recovery: Prerequisites: Hope, Healing and Support…
- Contact Info: http://www.malesurvivor.org/default.html
- Final Domestic Abuse PSA by Amy Robinson
Questions Elicited from the Podcast
- What is Chris’ ACES score and what does it mean?
- What was Chris’ life like in school as compared to his home environment?
- What was the significance of the WWF?
- Terrified, not knowing how to say no, how did Chris deal with the sexual experience?
- How does Chris characterize the illnesses he dealt with?
- What is stereotypical about entering into marriage with a background of sexual abuse?
- What is Chris’ opinion about the therapeutic technique of conjuring up repressed memories of traumatic experience?
- What is Chris’ feeling regarding the importance of justice versus healing?
- Is our criminal justice system designed to be a source of healing- Why or why not?
- What are the statistics of the occurrence of male sexual abuse and can we rely on the data?
- What is one major reason why male survivors do not come forward?
- How many people visit the website for MaleSurvivor.org?
- What are the details concerning their international Conference?
- Have Male Survivors made progress with media coverage?
- How many reported cases are there in the military and which gender comprises the majority of survivors?
- What is the greatest incidence of traffic on their site beyond US and Canada?
- *** What are the three messages of hope?
- What is Chris message of hope for the future
The comments expressed on this website or on the broadcasts of Shattered Lives do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the hosts, producers, or other guests.
- Shattered Lives: MaleSurvivor Executive Director Christopher Anderson (imaginepublicity.com)
- Healing from Sexual & Domestic Violence: Re-establishing Boundaries (ssaitco.wordpress.com)
- Voice Actress Amy Robinson Creates Domestic Violence PSAs (imaginepublicity.com)
- Domestic Violence Day 5: Child Abuse (secretangelps911.wordpress.com)
- Powerful photography series ‘Project Unbreakable’ sheds light on sexual violence (globalnews.ca)