Home » Justice » Judicial System » “LEAVE IT TO BEAVER MEETS CSI”

“LEAVE IT TO BEAVER MEETS CSI”


 

(Reporter)  It was a tragic time in Mayfield for this action reporter….

This was the home of “the Beav,” Wally, mother, June Cleaver and              father, Ward Cleaver.

               

                    June Cleaver was found on the kitchen floor, in her chiffon dress,

                    apparently strangled by her string of pearls. Blood was also noted

                    from an unknown source.  This crime is in the early stages of

                    investigation.  Let’s see if we can talk to someone at the scene…

 

(Reporter)  “Mr. Cleaver, can you tell us anything?”

Cleaver is seen in his overstuffed leather chair in the living room,  rocking back and forth, face covered. Brylcreem is seeping through his fingers.

 

(Ward)         “It can’t be…  It just can’t be….  What happened?”

   

(CSI

(Nick Stokes)  “Mr. Clever, please stay still.  I have to collect these carpet fibers.”

 

(CSI

(Catherine Willows) “Nick, this lock appears to be okay on the front door, but

                                    I’ll take those glasses in the bar to the lab.”

 

(Reporter)   June Cleaver is lying on her side, a mop, bucket and box of Spic & Span

                     is close to her body. Head CSI investigator, Gil Grissom is examining

                     her body.

 

(Gil Grissom) “We have petechial hemorrhaging here. Looks like strangulation…

                        and there are drag marks from the appearance of her high heels.

                        And… someone forgot to close this bread wrapper.  The Wonder bread                        

                        is stale.  I’ll bet it was the Beav…  Where is the little man?

 

(Reporter)      “I wonder where everyone is?”

 

(CSI

(Sara Sidle)     “I’ll get a slide. We need to get a blood sample, even if it is mixed

                         with Spic & Span.  Catherine, what about motive?  Do you have

                         anything yet?”

 

(CSI Catherine Willows)  ‘Don’t know… It could be jealousy…  The neighbors

                                           told me that Mrs. Cleaver was competing in a Pillsbury

                                            bake-off soon.  It’s quite prestigious to win, I’m told.”

 

(CSI

(Nick Stokes)  “Nah! That’s not it…  What about money?  It’s always about

                          money.  I’ll try to talk to more neighbors.”

 

(Reporter)         We can hear the Beav’s voice talking to his father…

 

(The Beav)       “But Dad, I was only trying to help…  I took down that yellow

                          tape.  I can use it for my science project at school.”

 

(Ward)              “Now Beaver, this is a good opportunity to discuss why we

                          don’t take things that don’t belong to us. Your mother isn’t with

                          us anymore, but I’m sure she’d agree…   Where’s Wally?”

 

(Reporter)        As we peek into the kitchen, we can see Investigator Grissom

                          questioning Wally, the older son.

 

(Gil Grissom)    “Wally, tell me about your movements today.  What did you do

                           and who did you see?”

 

(Wally)                “I dunno…  I went to school and came home at about 4 o’clock.

                            Then I realized I forgot my books on the bus and started to walk

                            back to school.”

 

(Gil Grissom)      “And then?”

 

(Wally)                 “As I left through the front door I thought I heard Eddie, my best

                             friend at the kitchen door.  ‘Thought he was stopping by to say

                             hello.”

 

(Gil Grissom)      “Did you do or see anything else? Did Eddie say anything?” 

 

(Wally)                 “Yeah, the usual.  But I didn’t stop or I’d never get back to school

                              to get my books before dinner.  My Mom hates it when I’m late

                              for dinner…”

 

(Gil Grissom)      “Wally, what do you mean, “the usual?”

 

(Wally)                 “My friend Eddie is pretty predictable.  He says he likes my Mom,

                              but I’m not sure.”

 

(Gil Grissom)       “What did he say?”

 

(Wally)                   “As I was rushing out the door, I heard him say, “Is anyone else

                                home yet?  Why Mrs. Cleaver, don’t you look lovely this

                                afternoon.”

                                                           

END

 

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